Bullhornymous

No doubt you are wondering whether you have the time to read the Mueller Report, one of those books destined to hit and stay on the New York Times bestseller list for a long time. As a service (and so that you don’t have to waste your time doing it), I have read the entire Report, all 448 pages including 40 pages of footnotes. While not as interesting as Lord of the Rings or The Great Gatsby, it was nowhere near as boring as many books I have read that I will not name. While its long, its nowhere as long as say War and Peace or other Russian masterpieces. That’s why when asked whether he would take the time to read the Mueller report, Putin said “I don’t read short stories”. I know, about a million and a half pundits have given their opinion of the Mueller report. Nevertheless, I will add my tuppence (before Brexit), concentrating on stuff that serious pundits let by. None of the headlines will make my report - only the subtleties. And the politics and spin after its release. First

As the whole world knows, the Mueller report in redacted form was delivered to Congress today. But I was astonished to read that in this day and age, with today’s technology, it wasn’t delivered in some online form, but on a bunch of CDs. CD’s, I thought. In which era is the US govt living? So I called Kellyanne to check if the report was really delivered on CDs and why. She needed to check back with Dotard and Barr, but then came back to me and said that they had to do that as they had run out of floppy disks....... I told her I would send them some Egyptian papyrus and quills in my possession that they could use for their next report.

For a change, something different. Ajax reached the semi-finals of the CL yesterday, knocking out Juventus, after earlier knocking out Real Madrid, winners of the last 3 years. For a football watcher of the last century, who may have woken up after sleeping 20 years like Rip van Winkle, its quite astounding to note that its the first time in 14 years that a team from a Non-Big-5 country has reached the semis of the CL. The last time was PSV, another Dutch team, in 2005. Considering that Ajax have won the top European tournament 4 times, and many other teams from small countries have won before, including PSV, Porto and Red Star Belgrade, you may wonder what changed. Well, the same as in society as a whole. Inequality has taken over. Big money from Russian oligarchs, Arab tycoons and others has changed the football world. These  biggies have only invested in the Big countries, who’s big populations may not quite bring a return on investment, but at least reduce the investment involved,

Israel votes today. I fail to get excited by any of the parties on offer. As I wrote earlier, I was in Tel Aviv on the day in 1999 when Barak’s Labour party defeated Netanyahu’s Likud, which itself had come to power in the election after the assassination of Rabin. That was a heady day, though unfortunately, due to Arafat’s miscalculations, no peace was to result. Instead there was the second Intifada, which in turn brought hardline parties to power and gave us Netanyahu for the last few years. N could soon be indicted for fraud and bribery. But if he wins, he will try to pass a law that a sitting PM cannot be indicted. Like his pal Dotard. Of course, Netanyahu and Trump are now as much in love as Kim and Trump. I doubt this is good for Israel in the long run, but these days, short term thinking trumps all.  Losing Democrats support in the US will in the long run not be good for Israel, but just like Wall Street, politicians these days often don’t think past the next quarter. A l

Well, I am so glad I survived my years in Holland without getting cancer. I wish all my Dutch friends all the best as they continue to cope with this. They could flee the windmills by crossing the Channel, if they do do it quick, before Brexit. In a poll of famous contemporary writers some years ago, each naming their 10 greatest books of all time, Don Quixote came out on top. And one must say that Miguel Cervantes had amazing foresight, predicting something that would happen 400 years later. It took some time, but now we have Donald Quixote Trump and his various Sancho Panzas rushing at those windmills. Maybe not with lances, like the original Don, but surely some Trumpkins will fire at them with their guns. After all, he has all the Second Amendment rubes on his side. We also know from Actor Donald that sometimes they make Wirr Wirr, but at other times they make Whing Whing. And sometimes they just do nothing because there is no wind and then your TV goes blank. Never knew t

Looks like Brexit has given us another new word. After Brexit itself, Brexiteer, Remoaner, Backstop and Brexiternity, we now have Flextension, Donald Tusk’s description of what the EU can now offer. Its a pretty tidy idea actually, and I suspect this is what will actually happen. An extension by 1 year, which can be cut short if the British Parliament can agree on a way forward that the EU can also accept. Who would have thought that a Pole would have such a flexible mastery over the English language? And a lot of people voted Leave in order to keep the Poles out. Maybe they would need some of them at Oxford to work on the next edition of the Dictionary. Separately , looking at recently released export figures, one wonders how all those fantasic post-Brexit trade deals are going to make up for any trade loss with the EU. Here are the numbers UK exports in 2018 (in bn pounds) EU     357 US       65 China   28  Japan     8 Korea      7 Everybody else - even less. So mu

Trump: We will produce a terrific health care plan to replce Obamacare and reveal it at an “appropriate time” after the 2020 elections. English translation: We have no plan, and probably never will. Me: I think he misspoke. He probably meant the 2120 elections. Trump: These dolts in the GOP are so stupid. They had 9 years to come up with a plan, and all they have come up with is shxt. With partners like these...... Mitch (softly): This dotard is so stupid. He has been talking for 4 years about his terrific health care plan, and all he has come up with is shxt. Paul Krugman (in the NYT): Well, public opinion here is clear: Americans want everyone to have access to health care. There isn’t even that much of a partisan divide: An  overwhelming majority of Republicans  don’t believe insurance companies should be allowed to deny coverage or charge more to those with pre-existing conditions. This public near-unanimity is one reason Medicare is so popular. Getting older — an