1000 years of Communism

In case you haven't seen it, here is the 12 second clip that inspired this post. An Ignorant Man showing his great grasp of history. https://x.com/i/status/1986213496103592011 ------------------------------------ Karl Marx was born around the year 1000, exact date unknown. After attending Universities in Bonn and Berlin, he felt life on the continent was a little boring, so pushed off across the Channel to witness the upheavals there among various noble lords. He spent most of his time reading and writing in the Library of the British Museum, and around 1060 published his seminal work, Das Kapital. His timing was perfect. In 1066, William the Conqueror came over from Normandy and "conquered" England in what is now known as the Normal Conquest. But those were difficult times, with unruly Lords opposing William (or Guillaume, maybe) both in Normandy and England and he was looking for a way to govern these peoples separated by a Channel. He heard about Karl Marx and immediately appointed him his most senior political advisor. Marx brought along Friedrich Engels, who was just a couple of years younger than him and had helped him write the pamphlet The Communist Manifesto, which was the precursor to Das Kapital. While William couldn't read himself, he had these 2 works read out to him and was very impressed and gave Marx and Engels full freedom to run the economy of his lands. However, as the Ignorant Man pointed out a thousand years later, it didn't quite work out, and finally William deported the 2 foreigners from his Reich and even thought of building a wall to keep them out and getting France to pay for it. But Marx and Engels were not the type to give up easily. 150 years later, they were impressed by the conquests of Genghis Khan and arranged to meet him to help him run what was already the biggest Empire of all time. The Great Khan was impressed by their ideas and again gave them free rein over the economies of his vast Reich. This thrived for a long time, so much so that Marx and Engels were still advising his grandson Kublai Khan who ruled over China. But Communism doesn't work, and somehow after 250 years, the Mongol Empire fell apart. Not to be deterred, Marx and Engels spent the next 100 years sharpening and improving their ideas, and then presented them at the Court of Suleyman the Magnificent, who ruled the huge Ottoman Empire of the 16th century. Suleyman liked their ideas and now allowed them to apply Communism throughout his empire. They even advised him on labour issues when he built the wall around Jerusalem, which is the one you see today. When his successors tried and failed to take over Vienna in 1683, Marx and Engels, who were advisors on the front lines, saw their chance after over 600 years to go back to speaking their native language, and defected in the dead of night to the Habsburgs only with the clothes they were wearing, leaving all their belongings behind. But they were welcomed by Leopold I, and given lavish suites in the Schönbrunn Palace, from where they again spread their communism over the entire Habsburg Reich. So is it any wonder that 200 years later, the Habsburg Empire was crumbling and finally fell after the shot heard around the world in Sarajevo. But Marx and Engels were strong and undeterred and latched on to Lenin, who was about to take over the Russian Empire, the third biggest empire of all time. What happened after that is well known History, so I won't go into it. P.S. Hope you enjoyed my Short History of Communism. I will now work on the Long History of 1000 years of Communism, which I expect to publish in 12 volumes around 2030. I hope you will support a poor writer by buying the book. It will be published by Penguin Books, so US readers will need to pay a 10% tariff. Thank you for your attention to this matter.