Greenland

Well, the news that Trump has asked his advisors to look into purchasing Greenland sent Twitter into a frenzy, as one can imagine. Of the hundreds of memes, I liked this one best, showing how Greenland may look 10 years from now, with the 70 storey Viking Trump Tower and Casino dwarfing all the quaint, pretty little houses in a coastal hamlet. More fun like that can be found on #Greenland or #Groenland.

But to be fair, before we laugh at Trump, we must concede that this has been tried twice before, including as recently as Truman, and then Eisenhower, looking at it after WW2.
Only those 2 would probably not have built that monster in the picture.

And history tells us that when Sec of State Seward negotiated the purchase of Alaska from Russia in 1867, he also looked at Greenland as a possible alternative. Seward was criticized a lot at the time for paying a lot of money for a worthless block of ice, but history has proved him right. Besides its huge oil and gas and mineral reserves, Alaska has also given the US the priceless Sarah Palin with her deep insights about Russia, gleaned by looking at Russia while sitting on her front porch. In hindsight, Seward paid a small price for all that bounty.

Garry Kasparov, thinking like a chess champion as usual, has already tweeted that Trump is looking at Greenland as a replacement for Alaska, that he plans to give to Putin on his birthday as thanks for all the favors received. And who knows, if he becomes President for Life, as he clearly desires, he may one day give Greenland to Kim in exchange for permission to build Trump Tower and Golf Course Pyongyang.

Another conspiracy theory making the rounds is that this is going to be a tremendous 3 way deal - with America getting Greenland, Russia getting Alaska, and Denmark getting Crimea. And if those are not equal trades, but some money needs to be paid as well, then of course Mexico will pay for it.

Come to think of it, the Dotard may also see Greenland as a way to cheaply build his wall. All those giant blocks of ice could be transported and placed on the Mexican border, delivering a wall almost for free. And the small remaining cost could again be paid by Mexico. Or maybe Denmark.

Many people are saying this is such a brilliant idea. A beautiful ice wall, with MAGA ice caps every mile or so. They could change them to MGAA caps - Make Greenland American Again, or something. As there is no global warming anyway, as the Dotard says, those ice blocks should stay there for decades.

In any case, both Denmark and Greenland laughed at the idea, so it may be dead for now, or till Trump threatens trade sanctions against them.


The Greenland Ministry of Foreign Affairs was quick to tweet:
#Greenland is rich in valuable resources such as minerals, the purest water and ice, fish stocks, sea food, renewable energy, and a new frontier for adventure tourism. We’re open for business, not for sale. Find out more on visitgreenland.com

Which is a polite way of saying - fuxk off, Dotard.

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