Baghdad Bob Forever

 For those of you who may have forgotten him (how could you?), Baghdad Bob was Saddam’s sunny press guy, who day after day trotted out great statements about how Saddam was winning, and had his final moment of glory, with Baghdad in flames just behind and all around him, when he still proclaimed to the assembled international press how Saddam was winning and the Invaders would soon be thrown out. While the journalists ducked for cover as bombs fell, he proudly continued and held court.

(Disclaimer: That is not a comment on the wisdom or idiocy of the Iraq invasion. I wrote plenty about that live as it happened 17 years ago).

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, to give him his real name, is now 80 years old and living in Dubai (the lucky guy!). But he must be pained to see his world class achievements being completely beaten and outclassed by an entire army of Baghdad Bobs that surround the Dotard these days. 

- Barbie Kayleigh, still proclaiming Dotard’s amazing victory on Fox
- Pompous talking about a smooth transition to a “second Trump administration”. 
- Rudy telling a judge yesterday how Trump won because there was no “opacity”. 

To the hundreds and thousands of Trump (insert body part) kissers in the GOP and on Twitter, all claiming what a great victory their Chosen One, Blessed Be His Name, had achieved. 
And the people at the Million MAGA March. Charlie Kirk, the obnoxious head of Turning Point USA, a group of young people for Trump, even invited people to Trump’s second inauguration, to which I had to ask, “Where is it? Moscow or Pyongyang?”

Feeling sorry for Baghdad Bob having to see his world record smashed in his old age, I called him to offer my condolences. So was I surprised to find out that he was actually a fulltime consultant to the Trump campaign, and they called him every day to check with the Master how they were doing and get new ideas for the following day.

He said that like tucking-in-my-shirt Rudy, he had also asked for $ 20000 a day for his services, though he was aware that Trump never paid his contractors and would probably stiff him as well. But he thinks that he will get a pardon from Trump before the latter is kicked out of the White House, which would then enable him to visit Mar-a-Lago without fear of arrest and hold a party or seminar for his new students. 

Talking of seminars, he is also negotiating with Liberty University to have a full semester’s course on Baghdad Bobbiness. He would provide the material but will not take the class himself, as Jerry Falwell insists that the teacher also have an affair with his wife. There is apparently great interest in the course as grifters line up to make a buck out of Dotard’s planned run in 2024. Even Harvard and Yale have expressed interest. 

Just imagine, an MBB from Harvard! Education for the future America....

I suggested to Baghdad Bob that there could be a few other current country leaders interested in his services. He said he was aware and was negotiating with a couple of them. So despite losing his Iraqi pension, he still hoped to live a comfortable life in his old age. Inshallah!