Bullhornymous

 (If you like this post, do read others on my blog. Or follow my blog. Its free 😀) We all know about the vaccine race. A bit less visible is the pardon race, with thousands lining up to get a pardon from Trump before he is kicked out of the White House  on Jan 20th.  To see how difficult and desperate that race is, I decided to ask for a pardon myself. In some ways, both races are similar. Earlier this week, the CDC met to decide who would get the vaccine first - a fraught decision with political ramifications. After much discussion, they decided the first recipients would be essential frontline workers (in health care and retail). Also this week the TCC met to discuss who should get a pardon first- also a fraught decision with political ramifications. As Andy Borowitz put it, “The White House is facing the daunting task of distributing thousands of pardons to those who are desperately in need. In an effort to insure an orderly rollout of pardons, the Trump Adm...

  (if you like this post, do look at others on my blog. Its free😀) The disintegration of the Trump legal battle to steal the election proceeds apace. After the departure of the white-shoe law firms I wrote about last week came the “greatest press conference of all time”, something even Hermann Goering could have learned from. While Rudy melted before out eyes, another nutty lawyer, Sidney Powell went into excruciating detail of how Chavez (dead since 2013), Venezuela, Cuba and China worked together with Dominion Systems (a provider of voting machines) to change millions of votes from Trump to Biden (I added the Pharaohs who she had overlooked). You don’t believe it? Well, nobody could. And after a weekend where that performance was pulverized in the news and on TV, even the Mad Man in the White House had to see how over-mad this was, and his remaining 2 lawyers put out this statement last night. TRUMP CAMPAIGN STATEMENT Sidney Powell is practicing law on her own. She is not a memb...

  For those of you who may have forgotten him (how could you?), Baghdad Bob was Saddam’s sunny press guy, who day after day trotted out great statements about how Saddam was winning, and had his final moment of glory, with Baghdad in flames just behind and all around him, when he still proclaimed to the assembled international press how Saddam was winning and the Invaders would soon be thrown out. While the journalists ducked for cover as bombs fell, he proudly continued and held court. (Disclaimer: That is not a comment on the wisdom or idiocy of the Iraq invasion. I wrote plenty about that live as it happened 17 years ago). Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, to give him his real name, is now 80 years old and living in Dubai (the lucky guy!). But he must be pained to see his world class achievements being completely beaten and outclassed by an entire army of Baghdad Bobs that surround the Dotard these days.   - Barbie Kayleigh, still proclaiming Dotard’s amazing victory on Fox - Pompo...

 ( The best debate summary you are going to read) After the sound and fury signifying nothing of the first debate, the VP debate last night was refreshingly boring. Who won? The FLY. By a huuuge margin. For those who don’t know what I am talking about, a fly landed on Pence’s head and stayed there for 2 minutes and 13 seconds. Now that is very, very, very, looooong. In that time, Noah Ngeny had run his 1 km world record and had a whole second to spare. Nirvana had finished playing their 1993 hit Very Ape, and could relax for almost 20 seconds. But the fly maintained its composure and sat there. Come to think of it, where do flies normally like to sit? Their favorite perch is on a pile of human bodily waste. As the biggest producer of that commodity was not on stage, I suppose the fly settled for the next best thing. And maybe it was also a fan of Nirvana’s song, which begins with I am buried up to my neck in  Contradictionary lies  I take pride as the kind of illiterature...

  Breaking News from my new friend Kayleigh (now that Kellyanne is gone). Dotard promises to name Norway a shxthole country if they do not give him the “Noble” prize. He also insists he never said “Why don’t we get more  people from Norway, instead of all these shxthole countries?”. If he is denied, just like with the Paris accords, the WHO and the Iran deal, he will withdraw the US from the Noble Prize. All past American prize winners will be asked to return their Nobles, which will be replaced by gold medals crafted from the gold previously used in TrumpToilets®️. Now that all the Trump resorts are empty, those golden TrumpToilets are no longer required and the gold can be put to better use. Dotard also boasted about being awarded the Bay of Pigs award, which nobody has heard of, and which actually sounds like an award normally won by Lord Emsworth’s Empress of Blandings at the Shropshire Pig Show.  But that could now be used as a replacement for the Noble Prize, though...

  There is so much secrecy around the plans for the GOP convention next week. Actually they are shocked at the decency, honesty and empathy that the Dems put together, and Kellyanne called me frantically to get ideas for next week. I asked if they are also looking to have heartwarming and heart breaking acts like the 11 year old girl who’s mother was deported, or the stuttering boy? Or did they only want to appeal to their base of racists, misogynists and rubes. She said they prefer the latter strategy. So here is my top secret preview of what the GOP will show us next week. - the GOP was impressed by the Zoom session anchored by Cory Booker with all the Dem primary candidates showing they are now united behind Biden. So they plan to have a Zoom session of all the Trump campaign criminals now in jail, showing they are still united behind Trump.. Kellyanne wanted my opinion about whether Bannon or Manafort should anchor it, as they had both been campaign chairmen. I suggested someon...

No President in HISTORY EVER got the Dow to fall 1000 points in a day. I did it FOUR times. Take that, Barack Hussein. ONLY I COULD DO IT. Our stock market genius has tweeted dozens of times that the stock market is the HIGHEST EVER.  Of course, every President since the NYSE was created could have said that dozens of times except FDR. But try explaining that to Trumpkins. No, the stock market has fallen for the last 150 years, and only started rising with Dotard. What a genius!  And that idiot Barack Hussein couldn’t even get the market to fall properly. He doesn’t even make the Top 10 fastest market corrections. And I, Donald J. Trump, have the TOP TWO in HISTORY. EVER. Take that, Hussein. ONLY I COULD DO IT.