Bullhornymous

And the Chosen One said, All My Fellow World Leaders are only talking about how great the American economy is doing and how our fake news media is pushing for failure. For those who have forgotten, a couple of G7s ago he said that AMFWL were only talking about John Podesta’s emails. To which they probably replied, John Who? (What he did not say was that AMFWL know that he cancelled his Denmark trip because Obama is going there  in 2 weeks , and those TV split screens with Obama’s adoring crowds and Dotard’s angry protesters wouldn’t have looked too good.) But there are a few G7s to go before we are rid of the Dotard, so as a service, I am providing him with topics that AMFWLs can talk about at future G7s. AMFWL are only talking about the 4 Hole in Ones I hit yesterday, even erasing the record of 3 that my love Kim hit a few years ago. AMFWL are only talking about how amazing it is that I remain so slim, despite all those Big Macs and buckets of KFC. AMFWL are only talking about ho...

In my capacity as the #ChosenOne, the #KingofIsrael, and the #SecondComing - I hereby order that all US companies leave China - I hereby order China to put Made in USA labels on all Trump and Ivanka Trump merchandise - I hereby order that Apple make all its iPhones at Trump Tower or Mar-a-lago - I hereby order that Macron declare American wine (especially Trump wine) far superior to French wine - I hereby order that Trump steaks and Trump vodka be served at all state dinners - I hereby order that only graduates of Trump University become cabinet ministers - I hereby order that Boris Johnson eat a chlorine-washed chicken in front of me to show his willingness to submit to my trade deal (can be tandoori) - I hereby order that the G7 become the G8, or else it will become the G6 - I hereby order that the G6 stop thinking of me as an ignorant idiot and mocking me behind my back - I hereby order that all Americans only shop in our great American Walmart, avoiding Chinese goods - I hereby or...

With age I am becoming lazier,so have not written a “piece” about Jackson Hole this year. But   I thought I would just recycle last year’s piece, most of which is still relevant (its also nice to have 20+ years of stuff to fall back on in lazy times).. Just remember it was written a year ago. So in the meantime, Kris Koback lost. But Dotard is still tweeting angrily about interest rates 1 year later. —————————- So all the world’s top Central Bankers descend on Jackson Hole today. Which Hole, you say? Yes, Jackson Hole is in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in the middle of Wyoming, which is a US state that some people have heard of, which still has 2 senators, which means that sometime soon both its remaining residents will also be senators, having as much power as the 40 million residents of California.  It even makes Davos, that other “remote” pow-pow place, almost look like the centre of London. Wyoming of course voted for Dotard by a wide margin, something like Hil...

Get out of the way, Putin, Xi, Kim, Erdogan and Modi. Its now official, the Chosen One is Donald J. Trump (J stands for Jenius). Officially crowned by the world renowned religious authority, Wayne Allen Root. Wayne who, you ask? So did I. Wayne Hoot? I have written about how Trump and his Fox choir and others in the GOP engage in very intense mutual masturbxtion - the Foxes (Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Lou Dobbs, Jeanine Pirro, Laura Ingraham) and the GOPers (LindseyGraham, Ronna McDaniel, etc) praise the Dotard to the skies and he returns the favor with his tweets. I frankly don’t see any better description of this phenomena as mutual m. Now it looks like just absurdly exaggerated, but human, praise is not enough for him. The Dotard needs to be acknowledged as the Master of the Universe, the Son of God, or better still, the Father of God, which is where Wayne Hoot (who?) comes in. He called Dotard the King of Israel, loved by all the Jews, who considered him the Second Coming....

Well, the news that Trump has asked his advisors to look into purchasing Greenland sent Twitter into a frenzy, as one can imagine. Of the hundreds of memes, I liked this one best, showing how Greenland may look 10 years from now, with the 70 storey Viking Trump Tower and Casino dwarfing all the quaint, pretty little houses in a coastal hamlet. More fun like that can be found on #Greenland or #Groenland. But to be fair, before we laugh at Trump, we must concede that this has been tried twice before, including as recently as Truman, and then Eisenhower, looking at it after WW2. Only those 2 would probably not have built that monster in the picture. And history tells us that when Sec of State Seward negotiated the purchase of Alaska from Russia in 1867, he also looked at Greenland as a possible alternative. Seward was criticized a lot at the time for paying a lot of money for a worthless block of ice, but history has proved him right. Besides its huge oil and gas and mineral reserves, Al...

As we know, with Putin busy in Moscow, the US has had an Acting President for some time now. And things didn’t stop there, with around half the Cabinet now all Acting. But now things are going further down. With the resignation (or firing) of Dan Coats as Director of National Intelligence (DNI), there would have to be an acting DNI, which would normally be Sue Gordon, the deputy DNI. But the Acting President doesn’t like her, so nominated somebody proficient in kissing his (insert body part), John Radcliffe. But it turned out that aside from the kissing, Radcliffe had no other qualifications for the job, and was withdrawn 2 weeks later. Yesterday, Sue resigned, so that there is now no Deputy DNI, so the Deputy Deputy DNI would now have to be the Acting DNI. That person has been named, and is already in hot water, so who knows, we may soon be at the Deputy Deputy Deputy DNI level. Which brings me to Mullah Nasruddin (MN), who I have written about before. If you haven’t yet read a colle...

Fox News host Sean Hannity is best known these days for his regular mutual masturbxtion sessions with Trump. He said yesterday that he thinks the solution to mass shootings is more guns in schools and shopping centers. “They should be on every floor of every school,” he ranted on his show, waving his arms and raising his voice. “We could do that with stores. We could do that in malls. We can do that pretty much anywhere the public is.” America, the exceptional country. A gun on every floor and every corner. i would suggest starting with Hannity, other Fox hosts like Tucker Carlson, Lou Dobbs and Laura Ingraham, NRA grandees like LaPierre, and Trump and Junior. Put them on each floor of a mall or a school,  with a gun in each hand and one sticking out of their (insert body part) for 360 degree coverage, to scare the living hell out of potential criminals. No doubt the general public will feel really protected. So the NRA are not the only madmen out there. After Parkland, they s...

The Onion published yesterday the headline that have now had to publish numerous times since they first put it up some years ago - No way to prevent this, says only Nation where this regularly happens. So here we are again. Despite the NRA being itself in shambles, the GOP and Trump still do not dare to cross them. So the blame was put on mental health, video games and the Internet, as though those things don’t exist in other countries where the death toll from guns is less than 5% of the US rate. Blame everything, dammit, except the availability of guns. Those harmless toys. How can liberals blame them? And the Racist-in-Chief gave a laughable speech to the nation, calling for an end to racism and bigotry and white nationalism. The arsonist calling for an end to fires. No mention of the fact that he is the biggest racist, bigot and white nationalist in the country. The few good sentiments written by somebody for him to say sounded more like a hostage video. As Beto put it, “He isn’t ...

(before I return to gun madness). So with the second round of Dem debates behind us, here some of my bold predictions - which we can check on a year from now. First - the nominee will be either Biden, Kamala or Warren. Pete and Cory have been good, but its probably not yet time for them. I think Sanders, despite his huge popularity against Clinton, is not going to get more than his current following of around 16-20%. Second - the ticket will NOT be 2 white men, or 2 people of color. Ideally it would be a man and a woman, one white, one minority, but there could still be a 2 women ticket (see below). So, if Biden is the nominee, my guess is he will try to convince Kamala to be his VP. In case she turns that down, he will ask Stacey Abrams. Cory could be his third choice. If Kamala is the nominee, she would ask somebody like Sherrod Brown to be her VP, looking to shore up her chances in the Rust Belt. If he demurs, she will go with Amy Klobuchar, thus giving a risky...